Wednesday, 13 January 2016

New Year: A Fresh Start or Uphill Battle?

 photo Fresh Start or Uphill Battle.jpg

Already two weeks into the new year and I am only just getting around to kick-starting this blog again, hopefully with a bit more of a positive spin on it this year though. New beginnings and all that.

I won't lie, entering into 2016 wasn't quite the fresh start I had anticipated. Perhaps naively I thought that with 2015 behind me I could package all the heartbreak from last year into a neat little box and tag it "do not open" before forcing it into the deepest recesses of my mind. When I see it written down like that I have to admit it was entirely naive. 

With the celebrations of Christmas and New Year behind me, when I finally had a moment to myself to think, I realised that upon entering 2016 I was made aware of that which I was lacking, the things that I should have had. If we focus solely on my MMC then I should be a mere ten weeks away from becoming a mum for the first time but I'm not. 2015 snatched that away from me so cruelly. I don't even have a little baby cooking away for later in the year. It's frustrating and sad all at the same time.

I was meant to have a child this year and now, with twelve months laid out in front of me, I cannot say if that will become a reality this year. But I also cannot say that it won't.

That is the beauty of a new year and that (imaginary) fresh start; I have absolutely no idea what lies ahead of me. Whilst that is altogether terrifying in some respects it's also incredible exhilarating. I know that it is most likely going to be a bit of an uphill battle, at least mentally, but I've just got to hope that 2016 is going to be drastically different from last year.

Keep your fingers crossed, will you?

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